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Financially Blonde reveals the role of desire in reaching your financial goals.
Dough Roller shares how to invest your first $10,000.
Over at Paying Debt Down he shares top 10 tips for couples to plan their finances together.
Managing money and marriage can be a delicate endeavor. Timing is important. Discussing a major financial decision right before bed may not be a good idea. My spouse and I made a pact to not discuss money on Sunday (God’s day) because we don’t want to set the day off in a negative direction. You also have to have money boundaries that work for the two of you. The two of you may decide on an amount of money (fun money) that you can spend without having to discuss it. Trying to micromanage your spouse’s spending is not going to have a positive outcome in most cases. It’s also important to discuss money goals. What do you both want to accomplish with the money you earn? Have you discussed retirement? Do you have adequate life insurance? If you have children….are you planning for college expenses? Do you have a budget? Which one of you crafts and maintains the budget? Not talking about significant money issues will NOT solve the problem. It’s not just what you say but HOW you say it. If things get too heated it’s OK to call a time out as long as you agree on another specified time to discuss the issue. Remember you are on the same team. Have you merged your two paycheck into 1 checking account? Do the two of you operate from separate accounts? What bills get paid from each account? The two of you may want to have a Money Date. This is an opportunity to discuss money issues specifically. You don’t have to go to a restaurant. You can have the date on your front porch if you wish.
Money Talk Guidelines:
- Use a civil tone of voice
- Discuss one topic at a time
- Agree to research a topic and bring it back later
- Don’t play the blame game
- Take responsibility for poor decisions
- Be willing to forgive each other for mistakes
- Be consistent in scheduling money talks (at least once a month)
- Listen closely to each other
- Remember that you both are on the same team
Discussing money issues in your marriage can be both challenging and rewarding. It is my hope that suggestions in this post can help guide your money conversations. What talking tips could you add to my list? Feel free to share your tips in the comments.
How do you manage money in your marriage? How do you communicate about money? What is the volume level when you discuss money with your spouse? Do you ever play the blame game? Are you and your partner in agreement about your financial goals? The topic of money in a marriage can be combustible and cause damage to your relationship. Below are some suggestions about handling money and marriage.
1) No Money Secrets – You and your spouse need to be truthful and honest about financial decisions. While you don’t have to discuss every spending decision, it’s important to have an open and honest relationship about money. You and your spouse need to agree on an a purchase amount that requires you discuss it together. Dishonesty with money can rapidly dissolve the foundational issue of trust in your relationship
2) Have Fun Money – All work no play makes for a dreadful marriage when it comes to money. Each partner needs a small amount of money that he/she can use with no explanation necessary. The critical thing is that you make a “Fun” category in your budget and put this in there. Remember if you don’t tell money where to go you will wonder where it went. Have fun but keep this amount small (especially if you have lots of debt).
3) Discuss money at the right time and place – When it comes to discussing money issues timing is very important. Discussing important financial decisions right before bed may not be the best choice. Discussing money when one or both spouses are stressed is not a good idea. The right time and place will vary from one couple to the next.
4) Attack the problem not the person – Money talks can become volatile in no time flat. Remember you and your spouse are in this marriage as a team, not individuals. If you find your decibels rising it is best to call a time out and discuss the issue at a later time. Playing the blame game very seldom results in a positive outcome. Don’t bring up unrelated topics that will inflame the discussion. Stick to the point and remember you both are on the same team. Be willing to compromise. Very few marriage arguments result in one partner getting all of their demands met.
If you can find ways to peacefully and respectfully discuss money in your marriage, you are at a happy place. Remember that you and your spouse are on the same team. While your opinions will vary, it’s important to commit to hearing each other and reaching compromises. Remember it takes teamwork to make the dream work.