How do you manage money in your marriage? How do you communicate about money? What is the volume level when you discuss money with your spouse? Do you ever play the blame game? Are you and your partner in agreement about your financial goals? The topic of money in a marriage can be combustible and cause damage to your relationship. Below are some suggestions about handling money and marriage.
1) No Money Secrets – You and your spouse need to be truthful and honest about financial decisions. While you don’t have to discuss every spending decision, it’s important to have an open and honest relationship about money. You and your spouse need to agree on an a purchase amount that requires you discuss it together. Dishonesty with money can rapidly dissolve the foundational issue of trust in your relationship
2) Have Fun Money – All work no play makes for a dreadful marriage when it comes to money. Each partner needs a small amount of money that he/she can use with no explanation necessary. The critical thing is that you make a “Fun” category in your budget and put this in there. Remember if you don’t tell money where to go you will wonder where it went. Have fun but keep this amount small (especially if you have lots of debt).
3) Discuss money at the right time and place – When it comes to discussing money issues timing is very important. Discussing important financial decisions right before bed may not be the best choice. Discussing money when one or both spouses are stressed is not a good idea. The right time and place will vary from one couple to the next.
4) Attack the problem not the person – Money talks can become volatile in no time flat. Remember you and your spouse are in this marriage as a team, not individuals. If you find your decibels rising it is best to call a time out and discuss the issue at a later time. Playing the blame game very seldom results in a positive outcome. Don’t bring up unrelated topics that will inflame the discussion. Stick to the point and remember you both are on the same team. Be willing to compromise. Very few marriage arguments result in one partner getting all of their demands met.
If you can find ways to peacefully and respectfully discuss money in your marriage, you are at a happy place. Remember that you and your spouse are on the same team. While your opinions will vary, it’s important to commit to hearing each other and reaching compromises. Remember it takes teamwork to make the dream work.